Last night, April 26, I had a piece of chocolate cake and remembered my mom. It was the twenty-first anniversary of her death.
My family celebrated birthdays and anniversaries with chocolate cake topped with mom’s delicious caramel frosting (we always insisted that she double the recipe). I continue to celebrate family milestones even though most of my family has died. But I bought the piece of cake.
While I ate it I thought of the time we baked a marionberry pie and, when we pulled it out of the oven and it overflowed onto the floor, we laughed so hard my dad rushed into the room to join in the fun. None of us could explain why it was so funny. Last night I also remembered the moment in March 1995 when she asked me to stay in Salem, Oregon, a bit longer, because she “wasn’t going to be here much longer.” While I didn’t understand how intuition worked back then, I heard the truth of what she was saying—and left anyway.
Good memories, sad memories, they’re all part of life. Would we do something different if given the chance for a do-over? Maybe. Maybe not. Life is about next times, and we live them the best we can.
I encourage you all to stop and set a time, even ten minutes, to honor your ancestors, those you knew and those stretching back centuries. Here’s some tips on how to do that:
- Set the place: arrange pictures and mementos, candles, flowers, even a piece of cake.
- Invite your spirit guide to filter for you. (You do have a relationship with a strong spirit guide, don’t you? It’s critical.)
- Get yourself grounded, balanced, shielded.
- Invite your ancestor(s) to join you.
- Relive the memories, good and bad.
- Invite your deceased loved ones to comment.
- Listen.
- When you feel the ceremony is complete, thank everyone for joining you and remove the “place setting” (this breaks the circle, allowing the energy to flow).
- Cleanse yourself with salt, a clearing spray, a walk.
Cherish the memories. Let them help heal you.
Note that some people think that honoring the dead on the anniversary of their death is morbid, keeps the energy stuck, and otherwise isn’t healthy. I disagree. Our experiences shape us, and honoring our ancestors (including our animal family) on these days is sacred, uplifting, energizing, and healing. As we all know, there’s never too much of that.
© Robyn M Fritz 2016
